Letting Go
I wrote this post about letting go two years ago, but just yesterday was feeling the same anxiety about all that I need to do in the next few weeks. At the same time, I am concerned about the balance between We Don’t Do Perfect Here and summer break coming in precisely 45 days. Don’t get me wrong…I am excited to play and swim and camp and do all the things with my kids, but those things cut down not only my writing time but also my Jesus time. Yesterday afternoon, I sat in the warm sun and poured my heart out to God. And do you know what He did?
He answered.
God reminded me of strategies I’ve used in the past for organizing my jumbled thoughts. He inspired me with an alternative to an event I want to plan but don’t have time for. And He gave me permission… no, He commanded me that it was time to use a piece of writing that had been in my “vault” waiting for the right time. Not only did God relieve my stress about creating something new, but he led me directly to the right one without spending an hour searching through previously written pieces.
Our God really does listen. I sit here with tears out of the great love and compassion that Jesus has bestowed upon me today.
And so, here is the post that God intended for us all today:
Holding Tight
Several weeks ago, I began working with a life coach. I wanted to get my priorities straight and be productive. I had let too many days go by without getting “enough” done. Summer is coming, and I wanted to balance work and family without pulling my hair out.
As I spoke with my coach during our first meeting, I voiced my concerns over not getting to everything on my to-do list and my anxiety about transitioning into summer break. I asked her to keep a Christian mindset to ensure I did what God wanted.
I had just finished reading about King David’s reign. David was a man after God’s own heart. In Acts 13:22, Paul tells how God described him, “I have found David, son of Jesse, a man after my own heart.” I want to be a woman after God’s own heart. David was far from perfect. He made mistakes, some of them BIG, but he truly repented. One of the things I noticed about David was that he didn’t just look at the big picture. He often consulted God on what he should do right after being presented with a problem or opportunity. At least nine instances recorded in 1 and 2 Samuel show David consulting the Lord, waiting for an answer, and God giving direction. I found that this was a model of faith that I wanted to emulate.
Back to my coaching session. As I talked about my struggle with productivity, my coach stopped me and said, “I just have to call you out on something.” She pointed out that I said I wanted to work the schedule I’d planned, but I also wanted to follow God’s lead daily. And she asked how those could be reconciled. I didn’t know. We ended the session agreeing that I would work on tracking my time, rather than scheduling it, to see how I was spending my time and go from there.
The week following that discussion was transformational. Why? Because just as much as God listens, our God answers as well.
You of Two Minds
I didn’t realize yet that God had been speaking to me about my “schedule” and to-do list for a while now. I just wasn’t listening.
The VERY next day, during my Jesus time, I read Psalm 40:8 (David’s words), “I take joy in doing Your will, my God, for Your instructions are written on my heart.” And then, in my devotional, I was prompted to read Philippians 4:6, “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.” This led me to take Paul’s words literally as I THANKED God for my distractions, lack of focus, and feelings of unproductivity. Then asked Him to tell me how to handle it and focus on what He wanted me to focus on. The next verse to look up was John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you….” This started me to ask questions such as “Is my peace with productivity and control from the world’s perspective rather than God’s perspective?” and “What does productivity look like from God’s perspective?”
The week went on, and I reflected more and very clearly decided that I don’t want my legacy to be a business owner or even a writer, but I want to be remembered as a woman after God’s own heart. I don’t care if my children and grandchildren see me as successful in the world’s eyes. I want them to know I drew on Jesus and spent my life pursuing Him.
Friday was the turning point. I was led to James 4:7-8, “Submit yourself to God….Purify your hearts, you of two minds.” The New Living Translation reads that last phrase in verse 8 as, “…for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.” I thought back to my conversation on Monday when my coach called me out on reconciling my schedule with God’s will. My loyalty was divided between the two. I knew I needed to submit to God and purge my need for a planned-out day.
The Practical
Any good author knows that the turning point is rarely the end. So on Saturday, I learned a little about what it looks like to see productivity from David’s perspective. “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life (Psalm 143:8).” In the same chapter, verse 10, David prays, “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”
And on Sunday, God helped me with some balance. Some may be thinking, at this point, that we all have responsibilities and can’t wait for God to give us a sign. For example, do we ask God before picking the kids up from school? Or attending the meeting our boss has called?
Ummm…no.
Scripture also addresses this, “Many are the plans of a man’s heart, but it is the decision of the Lord that endures (Proverbs 19:21).” Practically speaking, I found an excerpt from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young helpful with this. On page 143, she writes from God’s point of view,
“You can make some plans as you gaze into the day that stretches out before you. But you need to hold those plans tentatively, anticipating that I may have other ideas. The most important thing to determine is what to do right now. Instead of scanning the horizon of your life looking for things that need to be done, concentrate on the task before you…Trust me to show you what to do when you have finished what you are doing now.”
Letting Go
In the days after that, I continued to receive reassurances that I was on the right track….reminders to not allow a schedule to trump what God has in mind or try to manipulate His plans for our lives. I’m learning more about what it means to humble myself and be flexible rather than beat myself up over not being up to the world’s standards.
I’m still a work in progress. One week of lessons from God didn’t solve all my productivity problems. But it gave me a perspective I am still trying to honor daily. I can look at what needs to be done and sort it out through how God wants me to spend my time. I strive to follow that still small voice inside that guides my transition from one thing to the next while still honoring commitments that I’ve made (commitments made after praying about making them first).
So rather than holding tight to a schedule or a to-do list, let’s filter our day through God’s hands. Then we can be on that journey of letting go and finding the freedom He has already planned.
Jenny
Child of God, wife, parent, grandparent, teacher, and messenger. My life is messy, non-traditional, and imperfect, but I strive to be right where Jesus wants me. I love reading, traveling, and all things green!
3 Comments
Sharon
I very much enjoyed this writing as an encouragement. Thank you.
Marguerite
Now that my overall schedule is much lighter than it was for so long, I still want to know that I am following His lead – and sifting my ‘plans’ through the colander of His will.
Jenny
I love this visual!